Balcony Parodies
by EmilyMarie15
Summary: The title says it all. This is three seperate parodies of the Romeo and Juliet balcony scene. Rated T because I'm paranoid as hell.
1. Chapter 1

__

**Chorus: **_[chorus appears on stage alone]_

**Take a seat, one and all and prepare yourselves!**

For here we see a modern twist of young Romeo & Juliet's love

Staged on a gazebo on a porch

Our drama unfolds….

_[Exit chorus]_

_[Enter Juliet in 'gazebo']_

**Juliet:** Romeo! Hey boy hey!

Where are you?

_[Enter Romeo, from out of the shadows]_

**Romeo:** Juliet!

Ah… what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east! And Juliet is the sun.

**Juliet:** Why are you talking that way?

**Romeo:** I thought it would be romantical!

**Juliet:** And what kind of word is romantical?

**Romeo:** _[Says confidently]_

A made up one.

**Juliet:** What have I told you about making up words?

**Romeo:** _[Hangs head]_

To not to.

**Juliet: **Good, Romeo.

_[Pats Romeo on the head]_

**Romeo: **Juliet!

Have you spoken to your parents?

**Juliet:** Why, of course!

I speak to them all the time.

_[Chuckles to herself]_

**Romeo:** But have you spoken to them about us?

**Juliet:** Not yet

**Romeo:** _[whines]_

Why not???????

**Juliet:** You know very well why!

How could my parent's accept that I am dating you?

Your grandparents were in Ringling Brothers circus,

While mine were in Cole brothers Circus!

**Romeo:** Oh, yes I remember

The biggest rival of Ringling Brothers was the Cole Brothers

**Juliet:** Now do see why I can't tell them?

**Romeo:**_ [pauses]_

Not really…

**Juliet:** Oh Romeo!!

You are thick, aren't you?

**Romeo:** Thick what?

**Juliet:** Thick headed!

_[Throws hands up]_

You're useless.

**Romeo:** _[lip trembles]_

That's so mean!

**Juliet:** I'm sorry Romeo, honey.

_[Romeo's cell buzzes and he takes it from his pocket and begins to text someone. Nurse comes outside and calls Juliet]_

**Nurse:** Juliet!

**Juliet:** _[To Romeo]_

Brb!

_[Walks over to nurse]_

Yes, Nurse?

**Nurse:** It is time for you to take your medication.

**Juliet:** But I don't need it!

**Nurse:** _[looks confused]_

Why?

**Juliet:** Because I already overdosed today!

_[Walks back to Romeo]_

_[Nurse looks shocked, but she goes back inside]_

**Juliet:** So, Romeo, like I said before…

I'm sorry I called you thick headed

**Romeo:** Sure you're sorry.

**Juliet:** I am!

You know I love you.

**Romeo:** _[Texting]_

Mhhm… I love you too.

**Juliet:** Who are you texting?

**Romeo:** _[Still texting]_

Rosaline.

**Juliet:** WHAT!?!?!?

_[Slaps Romeo and runs inside]_

**Romeo:** _[calls Rosaline]_

Hey Rosaline, watcha doing tonight?

_[Walks away]_

* * *

**So, i will post two more of these parodies. THis one is more modern... the other two are not. I wrote the first and ones. My friend Lauren wrote the second one. So, please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Romeo:** Ay me, Juliet has stolen my heart.

**Look at her. She's the sun in my day.**

The moon in my night and the love in my life.

_[Beat starts up in the background, and Romeo begins singing]_

I don't want another pretty face. I don't want just anyone to hold.

I don't want my love to go to waste. I want you and your beautiful soul

You're the one I want to chase. You're the one I want to hold.

I won't let another minute go to waste. I want you and your beautiful soul.

**Juliet:** _[Thinking no one can hear her]_

Oh. M. Gee.

_[sighs]_

**Romeo:** Oh, Juliet. Say something else.

I know I am desperate, but you're voice…

_[Romeo begins singing again]_

You spin my head right round right round.

When you go down, when you go down, down.

**Juliet:** _[complaining]_

Stupid Montagues. If only he had another name.

But he doesn't. Why can't I just have Edward Cullen?

A vampire would be less trouble than a Montague.

**Romeo:** _[to himself]_

I would be a sparkly vampire if that meant I could have you, Juliet.

**Juliet:** Stop being a Montague. You'd still be you.

What's Montague? It is nor hand, nor face, nor arm.

It is foot. It is dirty, smelly foot.

And Romeo is so much better than that.

**Romeo:** _[to himself in a playful tone]_

Oh yes, I am.

_[raises his eyebrows twice]_

**Juliet:** Leave your last name behind, and take me instead.

**Romeo:** _[Louder, so Juliet is able to hear]_

I will accept that offer.

**Juliet:** _[yelling]_

I heard that! Whoever you are, get your butt out here and show yourself!

**Romeo:** _[stepping out of the darkness]_

Why it is the foot you spoke of.

The foot that promises to love you until the end of your existence.

_[He climbs up the vines on the side of the wall and rests his arms and head on the balcony]_

**Juliet:** Are you really that desperate, Romeo?

**Romeo:** Maybe I am.

But do you know how beautiful you are?

**Juliet:** Yes.

**Romeo:** You're vanity only attracts me more.

**Juliet:** Why did you come?

You know they'll kill you if they see you.

**Romeo:** _[in a trance]_

One look from you is worth the risk.

**Juliet:** _[waving her hand and snapping her fingers in front of his face]_

Snap out of it. I love you,

but not the drool dripping out of your mouth.

**Romeo:** _[quickly wiping his chin, blushing]_

Whoops…

But honestly, Juliet, I'd rather your family kill me

than have you reject my love.

**Juliet:** If I reject you, you'll try to be killed.

Well, that kind of puts me in an awkward position.

But luckily for you, I happen to love you the same way.

_[switches to a fake-angry voice]_

Though I'm better at concealing it, drool boy.

_[ROMEO blushes again. NURSE calls Juliet from within the house]_

**Juliet:** _[yelling back]_

In a minute!

_[to Romeo]_

I will send a messenger for you tomorrow.

If you mean what you say, send back a message,

of when and where our wedding will be.

**Romeo: **In that case, tomorrow, you shall be my wife.

**Juliet: **And you'll be my Romeo.

**Romeo:** Before I go, can I ask for one thing?

Kiss me?

_[She kneels on the balcony to better reach Romeo, and kisses him passionately for a few seconds before their lips part]_

**Juliet:** And if you're going to be my husband, make sure you get breath mints.

_[Juliet gets up and goes inside. Romeo climbs halfway down and then jumps. He exits over the orchard wall.]_

**It's a bit Twilight-y**, **but Lauren wrote this and Twilight is all she thinks about. Anyways, There's one more left and frankly, that one is my favorite. I wrote it also. Reviews wanted.**


	3. Chapter 3

_[Enter Romeo]_

**Romeo: O, Juliet! Wherefore art thou Juliet?**

Perhaps she hears not my call.

I shall throw this rock through yonder window,

Thus, gaining the attention of all.

_[Romeo throws rock]_

_[Enter Juliet on balcony]_

**Juliet:** What rock, thrown through yonder broken window!

**Romeo:** Juliet!

**Juliet:** Ah, Romeo.

_[Juliet holds up rock]_

This is your rock?

**Romeo:** Ay, 'tis me rock

I threw it through yonder window

For thou was not answering my call!

**Juliet:** Does thou want the rock back?

**Romeo:** Yes please, I must return it

To my dear cousin Benvolio's rock collection

**Juliet:** Very well then.

_[Juliet throws down rock]_

_[The rock hits Romeo in the shoulder and he falls dramatically to the ground]_

**Romeo:** OW!

_[Romeo stands up]_

**Juliet:** Dramatic aren't thou?

**Romeo:** Thou could've warned me!

**Juliet:** Thou shouldn't have thrown thy rock through yonder window!

_[Juliet starts to leave balcony]_

**Romeo:** Juliet! Come forth!

**Juliet:** I am no dog!

**Romeo:** Please?

**Juliet:** Very well.

_[Juliet walks back to edge of balcony]_

**Romeo:** I came to thy balcony tonight.

**Juliet:** That I have seen, but why?

**Romeo:** To proclaim my love for you!

**Juliet:** Is that so?

**Romeo:** Ay, 'tis so.

**Juliet:** Well, Romeo, oh, Romeo

Thou has denied thy father and refused thy name

**Romeo:** Indeed I have.

**Juliet:** Then I shall no longer be a Capulet.

**Romeo:** And I, no longer a Montague.

**Juliet:** Ah, Romeo, my bounty is as boundless as the sea

And my love is as deep.

**Romeo:** And mine for you, Juliet!

**Juliet: **If only we could be together.

**Romeo:** Is there any possible way?

**Juliet:** We shall run away together!

**Romeo: **And when shall we do so?

**Juliet: **Now!

_[Juliet climbs onto the railing of the balcony]_

Catch me!

_[She jumps]_

_[Romeo positions himself at the bottom of the balcony to catch Juliet… he doesn't]_

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Romeo:** Juliet, oh Juliet!

**Juliet:** Romeo, grieve not, go forth with thy life

_[Juliet dies]_

**Romeo:** What have I done!

'Tis my entire fault!

_[Hangs head in shame]_

**Nurse:** _[calls from inside]_

Juliet! Where art that child!?

**Romeo:** I must leave!

_[Runs to orchard wall and climbs over and walks away from the Capulet house]_

I wonder where Rosaline be this night…

_[Goes in search of Rosaline]_

_[Exit Romeo]_

**Yes, it's depressing. But hey, she would've died anyways. I like when i make him sound like a pirate when he says "Ay, tis me rock". Lol, so, I hope you all like those three little parodies... MAYBE I'll write another but I don't think it is likely. Please review.**


End file.
